I've been sitting here trying to put my thoughts into a blog post and I have to admit it's rather difficult. This post is extremely different than my usual posts, but to be honest it carries the most important message that I incorporate into my life every single day. I think we often have these little conversations within our heads, but the minute we try to say the words out loud we get confused and flustered. I've been held prisoner by my mind for years. I use the word prisoner because I felt so trapped by the consuming wave of thoughts that would flood my mind. I never understood why it happened or how to stop it. As I got older I began to realize how detrimental this overthinking is to my mind, body, and soul.
Okay, so I realized the problem but how do I fix it? I knew my anxiety and stress was stemming from my very own mind. So you think, okay just stop thinking those thoughts. Easier said than done. As I got older and began experiencing high stress situations, I felt my mental strength deteriorating. When I say my mental strength was deteriorating, I mean that the negative and anxiety filled thoughts were being pushed out into my mind more than before and magnified. As you get older you also understand yourself better. I began to embrace my emotional sensitivity and how I felt things more deeply than others. This is important because the minute you decided to accept yourself is the moment where you take the first step in understanding how to fix the problem, because let me be the first to say the problem is not you. The one aspect that hurt me the most is that I never let anyone have the slightest hint that I was struggling. Looking back I see that I was only letting everything build up and basically made everything worse.
One day I came across a book called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I was never into meditation or mindfulness. To me it was like a foreign language and I had no idea what these topics even pertained to. At this point in my life I thought, hey what do I have to lose? I'm going to be brutally honest, this book is a tough read. Mainly because the topics being discussed go into great detail and he also introduces new definitions that pertain to the mind. I read this book on and off for a year in it's entirety. This is because I wouldn't sit there just to read it, I would read and study what these words were saying and take the time to process the truths behind it. I think that is what makes this book so unique is because to fully understand and apply it to your life, you will need to study it. Another reason why this book spoke so loudly to me is because I am not a religious person. I could get into a whole discussion of that but I won't. I've always lived my life with a very open mind and the religion I was raised in sometimes didn't align with my own beliefs. As I got older I began to learn about other religions and gave myself the opportunity to see how beautiful every religion is in it's own way. This is why I choose to be spiritual, because it gives me the freedom to believe in God but in my own way.
The biggest lesson I learned is to be aware of your thoughts and make sure you are constantly living in this very moment. This took months of practice and I am nowhere near where I want to be, but I can proudly say I have come a long way. My life feels more fulfilled and prosperous. I always felt that my life had to have a plan and I had to follow it exactly like I envisioned. NEWSFLASH, this is insane and unreasonable. My life has taken so many twists and turns and for a long time I fought against it. Now I refuse to fight what has been put before me this very moment. Instead I live every moment of my life with pure gratitude. I've heard stories and so many people say, "Be thankful and great things will happen". Do you know how many times I would roll my eyes when I heard that? Too many to count. Now I'm that person telling others to be thankful for every little thing they have. How ironic. Yet, I wouldn't change any of it because I had to be a skeptic before I could understand how important these messages are.
I cannot do this book justice by writing about what the book teaches. I think this experience is different for everyone and for me it helped me understand how to live a more positive life. I am a human being and I experience bad days, now I am able to work through it in a healthy way. I am able to work through my problems with a more clear and logical mindset. I see beauty in places that I never thought to look at.
If there is one piece of advice I can give it is this, do not take your mental health for granted and do not treat it like a stigma. Your mental health is what makes your life worth living and it is okay to find ways to make yourself better. Some people go to therapy and some people use books and meditation. There is no right answer and all you can do is find what works for you and run with it. I say this from the bottom of my heart, we live in a truly beautiful and wondrous world so realize that you play a part in that.
Ciao !!!!
